[She feels a little embarrassed to break down like this, because she never has, and feels like she's been crying and feeling pitiful and weak for so, so long these days...but that's the truth. This world is starting to wear her down. From the homesickness and loss of her quirk, her dreams, her family, to all the shit with the spiders and now...this. Now this. It feels like she's been isolated, unsure of how to open up about it to anyone, so it's grown into, well...a rather ugly mark. Like the one she sports from the aftermath of the spider attack, but this scar is all mental. Emotional. Deeper and much uglier than the scar on her abdomen.
The difference between what Izuku did and what Ochako did is that he was fighting himself. He knew he was the real one and...as morbid a thought as it may be, ending the life of something that has your own face is easier than ending the life of something that has taken the appearance of a friend. Not once, not even twice, but three times.Two of which Ochako killed herself. Two of which were people closest to her. And it made her question how close she really was to them.
Breathing in and out, Ochako sniffs and wipes at her face as she listens to Izuku speak. Reiterating what she said - Heroes don't kill. They're not supposed to kill. That's what they were always taught - murder is and forever will be a crime. It should never, ever be an option... And if it is, it should be for the sake of the masses. Heroes are not executioners, they do not judge when and where to take life. They are meant to serve and protect, to save. Everyone.]
That thing...treated me liked it owned me. Like it had a right to me - was entitled to it. [She takes a deep breath, rubbing her face again and swallowing.] It reminded me more of that derange Toga girl than it did you, Deku-kun, but...the thing is, I-I knew it was a fake. Deep down, from the moment I felt something want wrong about it, I knew.
But because it was you, I ignored it. Because it treated me kindly at first, I pu-- [Her eyes squeeze shut, as a painful tightness grips her chest. Haha. Hah...how ironic.] ...I put those feelings away. It wasn't until it slipped up that I finally started fighting. And...th-the fact I can be swayed by a fake of you...my closest friend... A-And I really, really don't want to see you or Bakugou-kun any different!! You're both really, really important to me, and...a-and I'd do anything for you guys, you know that!! B-But...but. After all that, I just. My chest just...it's.
[She gasps out, a breathy whisper, followed by another sob.]
no subject
The difference between what Izuku did and what Ochako did is that he was fighting himself. He knew he was the real one and...as morbid a thought as it may be, ending the life of something that has your own face is easier than ending the life of something that has taken the appearance of a friend. Not once, not even twice, but three times.Two of which Ochako killed herself. Two of which were people closest to her. And it made her question how close she really was to them.
Breathing in and out, Ochako sniffs and wipes at her face as she listens to Izuku speak. Reiterating what she said - Heroes don't kill. They're not supposed to kill. That's what they were always taught - murder is and forever will be a crime. It should never, ever be an option... And if it is, it should be for the sake of the masses. Heroes are not executioners, they do not judge when and where to take life. They are meant to serve and protect, to save. Everyone.]
That thing...treated me liked it owned me. Like it had a right to me - was entitled to it. [She takes a deep breath, rubbing her face again and swallowing.] It reminded me more of that derange Toga girl than it did you, Deku-kun, but...the thing is, I-I knew it was a fake. Deep down, from the moment I felt something want wrong about it, I knew.
But because it was you, I ignored it. Because it treated me kindly at first, I pu-- [Her eyes squeeze shut, as a painful tightness grips her chest. Haha. Hah...how ironic.] ...I put those feelings away. It wasn't until it slipped up that I finally started fighting. And...th-the fact I can be swayed by a fake of you...my closest friend... A-And I really, really don't want to see you or Bakugou-kun any different!! You're both really, really important to me, and...a-and I'd do anything for you guys, you know that!! B-But...but. After all that, I just. My chest just...it's.
[She gasps out, a breathy whisper, followed by another sob.]
It's heavy.