[Direct is actually a lot better. Ochako definitely needs the push, or a kick in the ass, to get her motivated for anything these days. She's really not used to opening up in this way - it goes against so much of what she was taught to do, and what she has been doing for so long. But...she knows exactly where things started to really go wrong, so.]
...Well, I used to live together with my friends - my classmates - in a pretty big house before moving back to the Inn. It was me and three other girls, and we were also all taking care of a really young girl from our world that showed up here, too. [Ochako looks down at the floor, pawing at a loose thread on the sleeve of her shirt.] O-One by one...um. I--...they left. My classmates. A-A lot their b-belongings were gone, their rooms were...empty, and--
[Her fingers begin to shake, and her head hangs low. Man, it feels so much worse when she speaks it into the world. Her voice becomes small, but steady. Almost automatic.] ...I was alone. Just me and that little girl. There was no way I could afford living in that house, and taking care of a kid on my own. I knew that, so I coordinated someone to take care of her in my stead, who was better equipped for it. I...know it was the right choice, but...it didn't feel good. Felt like I was giving up. And then just...so much more stuff began to happen, and I...
[Tears begin to well up in her eyes, soaking her dark lashes and rolling down once rosy, now slightly blotched cheeks. It sounds stupid. It sounds so stupid. She's a Hero, she's not supposed to have these kinds of hang-ups!! She's not supposed to give up on people because she can't do it. That's not what a Hero's supposed to do! It's not what's been taught to her since day one. In Ochako's head, she's failed.]
It felt like all the people I cared about were slipping through my fingers. Like they were all looking at each other, or moving forward, and I was stuck in place. I couldn't follow after them, and they either...disappeared, or the gap became too wide to call out. [A long, long pause, and Ochako sinks a little so that her back hits the wall and she leans hard against it.] ...I'm sorry.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2021-09-06 08:43 pm (UTC)...Well, I used to live together with my friends - my classmates - in a pretty big house before moving back to the Inn. It was me and three other girls, and we were also all taking care of a really young girl from our world that showed up here, too. [Ochako looks down at the floor, pawing at a loose thread on the sleeve of her shirt.] O-One by one...um. I--...they left. My classmates. A-A lot their b-belongings were gone, their rooms were...empty, and--
[Her fingers begin to shake, and her head hangs low. Man, it feels so much worse when she speaks it into the world. Her voice becomes small, but steady. Almost automatic.] ...I was alone. Just me and that little girl. There was no way I could afford living in that house, and taking care of a kid on my own. I knew that, so I coordinated someone to take care of her in my stead, who was better equipped for it. I...know it was the right choice, but...it didn't feel good. Felt like I was giving up. And then just...so much more stuff began to happen, and I...
[Tears begin to well up in her eyes, soaking her dark lashes and rolling down once rosy, now slightly blotched cheeks. It sounds stupid. It sounds so stupid. She's a Hero, she's not supposed to have these kinds of hang-ups!! She's not supposed to give up on people because she can't do it. That's not what a Hero's supposed to do! It's not what's been taught to her since day one. In Ochako's head, she's failed.]
It felt like all the people I cared about were slipping through my fingers. Like they were all looking at each other, or moving forward, and I was stuck in place. I couldn't follow after them, and they either...disappeared, or the gap became too wide to call out. [A long, long pause, and Ochako sinks a little so that her back hits the wall and she leans hard against it.] ...I'm sorry.