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u fucking IDIOT
Why would u TELL THAT TWO FACE BASTARD THAT I WOULDN'T KILL HIM?!
Why would u TELL THAT TWO FACE BASTARD THAT I WOULDN'T KILL HIM?!
[Katsuki, it's not even 8am, she's not nearly awake enough for this. Though the fact Ochako can literally hear this in her head is more effective than any alarm.]
what??
what??
i barely know my own name at this hour, bakugo-kun.
[IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA USE YOUR WORDS, SHE'S TURNING HER PHONE OFF AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP.]
[IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA USE YOUR WORDS, SHE'S TURNING HER PHONE OFF AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP.]
ok- fucking fix your sleep schedule first of all, it's already late and your shitty discipline's making ME tired, second and more important
I CANT BELIEV EYOU FUCKING TOLD THAT BASTARD I WOULDNT KILL HIM
I CANT BELIEV EYOU FUCKING TOLD THAT BASTARD I WOULDNT KILL HIM
[FLATLY--] no
...i have no idea who ur talking about. baku, u threaten EVERYONE who sneezes in ur directoin.
...i have no idea who ur talking about. baku, u threaten EVERYONE who sneezes in ur directoin.
this is why youre stupid
that ain't fucking true!
that ain't fucking true!
ok sure idc
...if u don't tell me what u wnat i'm going back to bed.
...if u don't tell me what u wnat i'm going back to bed.
You told Double Trouble I wouldn't kill him
Now I have to prove u wrong
Now I have to prove u wrong
who...OH
ohhhh ok
u wouldn't tho. i kno u wouldn't
ohhhh ok
u wouldn't tho. i kno u wouldn't
i should kill U for saying that
and that ain't even the point. how the fuck does that benefit us if he thinks we're weak?
and that ain't even the point. how the fuck does that benefit us if he thinks we're weak?
u have my address. 🙄
bakugo... can i call u? [This is probably easier said in words than text.]
bakugo... can i call u? [This is probably easier said in words than text.]
[Who was the one that literally texted her just to whine and complain? Pot, meet kettle. Regardless, Ochako groans, rubs her eyes, and dials, too sleepy to register she hit the video call instead of audio, but fuck it. It's too hot in Heropa, and she hasn't been sleeping well because of it.
Don't mind your sleepy, messy-haired gal-pal blinking blearily back at you, Kacchan. Ochako yawns, shifting as she hugs her pillow closer.]
Bakugo-kun?
Don't mind your sleepy, messy-haired gal-pal blinking blearily back at you, Kacchan. Ochako yawns, shifting as she hugs her pillow closer.]
Bakugo-kun?
Edited (whoops wrong icon) 2020-08-14 14:04 (UTC)
[Katsuki, meanwhile, has his hair pulled back with his bandana, revealing his forehead. Dark circles linger under his eyes, but he doesn't give a shit.]
What.
What.
[Oh...he looks really cute with his hair pulled back like that. She blinks slowly, then zeroes in on how exhausted he looks, brows coming together as she feels a pang of concern. Is Bakugo still not sleeping well?
For a moment, she forget what she was about to say, almost going to ask if he was alright, if he wanted to come over and use one of the spare rooms to rest, but...he'd never take her up on the offer. It'd be stupid to ask. Besides, this isn't about that, right now.]
...Can you really see yourself killing someone, Bakugo-kun? I...I-I can't. [A pause, then quieter--] I don't want to. And...if you think that's weak, then I'll accept that I'll never be strong. I don't care.
For a moment, she forget what she was about to say, almost going to ask if he was alright, if he wanted to come over and use one of the spare rooms to rest, but...he'd never take her up on the offer. It'd be stupid to ask. Besides, this isn't about that, right now.]
...Can you really see yourself killing someone, Bakugo-kun? I...I-I can't. [A pause, then quieter--] I don't want to. And...if you think that's weak, then I'll accept that I'll never be strong. I don't care.
I can.
[He says without missing a beat, scowling at her before looking down at his desk.]
This isn't about you. And it's not about me- they're villains, they don't give a shit what you think, the only thing they care about is opportunity, and they will capitalize on any perceived weaknesses.
You just gave 'em a free fucking meal, and now I have to prove them wrong before they do something worse.
[He says without missing a beat, scowling at her before looking down at his desk.]
This isn't about you. And it's not about me- they're villains, they don't give a shit what you think, the only thing they care about is opportunity, and they will capitalize on any perceived weaknesses.
You just gave 'em a free fucking meal, and now I have to prove them wrong before they do something worse.
[She flinches, visibly, and Ochako lowers her communicator a little as her lower lip trembles. That's not what she expected, or hoped to hear. She wants to believe he's lying, putting on some sort of stupid front, but she knows better. There's quiet, for a long moment, broken by tiny, stifled gasps, as Ochako curls tightly into herself and tries not to cry.
Because he's right. Deep in her heart, Ochako knows Bakugo is right, but she hates it. He's right - the kinds of Villains in the League don't care about her moral code. They'll kill, and they'll hurt, anyone and everyone, and yet...and yet--]
We're not...supposed to kill anyone. Heroes don't kill. [She swallows the lump in her throat, biting her bottom lip as she takes a deep breath. ...No. No, she won't let him get the better of her. Even if Bakugo may be right, she won't let him change her mind.] A-And it's not about being weak, Bakugo-kun, it's about following the law.
And what we were taught.
If there's no other choice, then I...I-I understand, but don't... [She inhales, then exhales slowly, raising her communicator back to snarl back at him. Ochako wipes the corner of her eye with a thumb, resolve hard and unshakable, like a mountain in a howling storm.] Do not talk so brazenly about killing someone.
Because he's right. Deep in her heart, Ochako knows Bakugo is right, but she hates it. He's right - the kinds of Villains in the League don't care about her moral code. They'll kill, and they'll hurt, anyone and everyone, and yet...and yet--]
We're not...supposed to kill anyone. Heroes don't kill. [She swallows the lump in her throat, biting her bottom lip as she takes a deep breath. ...No. No, she won't let him get the better of her. Even if Bakugo may be right, she won't let him change her mind.] A-And it's not about being weak, Bakugo-kun, it's about following the law.
And what we were taught.
If there's no other choice, then I...I-I understand, but don't... [She inhales, then exhales slowly, raising her communicator back to snarl back at him. Ochako wipes the corner of her eye with a thumb, resolve hard and unshakable, like a mountain in a howling storm.] Do not talk so brazenly about killing someone.
[He does not want to deal with this right now. He's on edge and running on two hours of sleep tops and the last thing he wants is to have a conversation about morals while fighting that sickening weight of dread in the pit of his stomach.]
The law? [He barks out a laugh, sharp and abrasive.]
There are no laws here. There's only the rules of our kidnappers and us, and I'm not about to let them win just because they put me in handcuffs once and have a shitty piece of paper with a stamp on it. [Fuck. He's a fucking idiot. This is why Deku is better suited for this shit. Maybe he's not worthy of being a hero at all. He barely realizes what he's saying now, he's just reacting, explosive and angry as always.]
You can feel however you want. But you don't get to speak for me. No one has that privilege 'cept me, understand?
The law? [He barks out a laugh, sharp and abrasive.]
There are no laws here. There's only the rules of our kidnappers and us, and I'm not about to let them win just because they put me in handcuffs once and have a shitty piece of paper with a stamp on it. [Fuck. He's a fucking idiot. This is why Deku is better suited for this shit. Maybe he's not worthy of being a hero at all. He barely realizes what he's saying now, he's just reacting, explosive and angry as always.]
You can feel however you want. But you don't get to speak for me. No one has that privilege 'cept me, understand?
I'M TALKING ABOUT OUR LAWS!! [Ochako finally snaps - Ochako suddenly doesn't give a damn if he's not sleeping, or only running on two hours. She's tired too, and angry, and frustrated, and not sure how to handle him when he's like this because she just...she feels like she can't get through to him. They're too different. And it hurts, because it seems like they could never fit together as friends...that all this is just waiting for something to knock it over, like a fragile house of cards.] STOP PRETENDING LIKE THEY DON'T EXIST NOW THAT WE'RE HERE!! I THOUGHT YOU WERE SMARTER THAN THAT, BAKUGO! OR ARE YOU REALLY JUST GOING TO TOSS ALL THAT YOU LEARNED ASIDE NOW?!
[She sucks in a breath through her teeth, and though Ochako looks fierce and full of her own rage, it does nothing to how tears well in her eyes, and roll down her rosy cheeks.]
...Fine. I won't tell everyone how great I think you are, or how you're always so brave, and so strong. I won't say I think you're a good person, despite how awful you are to everyone you meet. Like it's fun for you. I won't tell anyone how I really, honestly...fully believe you'd become someone great. [Her hands shake, but her voice more so. You were wrong, Bakugo...Uraraka is actually very fragile.]
I'll tell them you're a killer, Lord Explosion Murder. If that's what you want so badly. My friend...my hero...the killer.
[She sucks in a breath through her teeth, and though Ochako looks fierce and full of her own rage, it does nothing to how tears well in her eyes, and roll down her rosy cheeks.]
...Fine. I won't tell everyone how great I think you are, or how you're always so brave, and so strong. I won't say I think you're a good person, despite how awful you are to everyone you meet. Like it's fun for you. I won't tell anyone how I really, honestly...fully believe you'd become someone great. [Her hands shake, but her voice more so. You were wrong, Bakugo...Uraraka is actually very fragile.]
I'll tell them you're a killer, Lord Explosion Murder. If that's what you want so badly. My friend...my hero...the killer.
OUR LAWS DON'T MEAN SHIT RIGHT NOW, AND THEY AREN'T GOING TO HELP US FIND A WAY OUT, I AM!!!
[He tries to breathe, but he's going to fast, his voice catching in his throat.]
All it takes is Shigaraki being in a bad enough mood and he'll-
[She doesn't fucking get it. She never has, just like everyone else, but the only difference is now it's not just about pride. Even if every word she says feels like another nail to his heart, he keeps going.]
This isn't about your hurt feelings, or friendship, or whatever bullshit you've convinced yourself of, Shigaraki is here and no one else seems to give a shit so yeah, if I have to kill someone to make sure all of my classmates live because no one else will, I'll fucking do it, because this place doesn't give a shit about you and it ain't going to protect you.
[She's not the only one who's capable of crying. Even though the tears haven't spilled yet, they still lurk in the corners of his eyes, making his eyes glassy as he hisses.]
And if that's too unpleasant or upsetting or not heroic enough for you, fine, at least you'll be able to be pissed at me...so you can shut the hell up and fuck off.
[He ends it there, cutting off the transmission. His vision is clouding black at the sides, as if it's closing in on him, and he doesn't need to talk to her. Not like this.
Maybe not ever.]
[He tries to breathe, but he's going to fast, his voice catching in his throat.]
All it takes is Shigaraki being in a bad enough mood and he'll-
[She doesn't fucking get it. She never has, just like everyone else, but the only difference is now it's not just about pride. Even if every word she says feels like another nail to his heart, he keeps going.]
This isn't about your hurt feelings, or friendship, or whatever bullshit you've convinced yourself of, Shigaraki is here and no one else seems to give a shit so yeah, if I have to kill someone to make sure all of my classmates live because no one else will, I'll fucking do it, because this place doesn't give a shit about you and it ain't going to protect you.
[She's not the only one who's capable of crying. Even though the tears haven't spilled yet, they still lurk in the corners of his eyes, making his eyes glassy as he hisses.]
And if that's too unpleasant or upsetting or not heroic enough for you, fine, at least you'll be able to be pissed at me...so you can shut the hell up and fuck off.
[He ends it there, cutting off the transmission. His vision is clouding black at the sides, as if it's closing in on him, and he doesn't need to talk to her. Not like this.
Maybe not ever.]
Edited 2020-08-15 22:32 (UTC)
[She's startled, silenced, by the force of his shout, but it's not the volume or the anger behind it that really makes Ochako go silent, it's how...how desperate, scared, broken his voice sounds. Bakugo doesn't break, he doesn't get scared, he doesn't--... She barely registers how hard she's gasping for air as he continues his verbal tirade, each sentence like fingers curling around her throat, choking out the sound and air from her lungs. It hurts...it hurts to see and hear Bakugo when he's like this - something she never expected to see, ever, and not something she wanted to see.
Was this what he really meant? No...no, no, no, no--! She had it all wrong. Idiot!! Stupid! WHY?! WHY CAN'T SHE EVER UNDERSTAND HIM?! Only when she messes up does she finally ever get it - he's always been good. Always been weighing himself down just trying to protect everyone, get them all home safely, and she...she--]
Bak--!
[But he's gone, and Ochako feels like she'd just been stabbed. Hot, furious tears drip down her face, but she growls, throwing back the covers of her bed, racing out her door without a thought or care to even change. She doesn't even put on shoes, or a hoodie, anything. Doesn't grab anything, or say anything to anyone. They don't matter right now. Nothing matters more than getting to Bakugo. She hesitated last time...but not this time. Not this time. She runs as fast as she can, doesn't stop for anything or anyone. It all blurs past after a while. People, faces, buildings...is it her tears, or just how fast she's running? Nothing stands out other than the harsh sound of her labored breaths, the slap of her bare feet across the hot asphalt. She's not going to run away this time...not going to disappear.
Faster...farther--don't stop. Not until she gets to the Porter. In it, through it, and the race begins anew. A quick breather, just when she arrives beyond Heropa, scrubbing at her face - sweat, tears, her hair sticking to her dirty face. Just a moment, a second, just to get a read on the direction and throttle forward again. All the while, his angry, hurt, sad, broken image plays in Ochako's mind, making her run well and past her limit.
Before long, she finds herself at his doorstep, pounding furiously on the wood in tandem to the beat of her throbbing heart. Open the door, or she may very well kick it in. Ochako won't let Bakugo shoulder all those worries alone, like hell. She won't leave him - not now or ever - to suffer in silence all alone. Is this why he wasn't sleeping, too? Because he was so worried about them all? Protecting them all? Her knuckles hurt from how hard she's slamming them against the door, and if there's blood, Ochako doesn't care. That tiny pain is irrelevant to whatever hurt her friend is feeling right now.
Open the door, Bakugo.]
Was this what he really meant? No...no, no, no, no--! She had it all wrong. Idiot!! Stupid! WHY?! WHY CAN'T SHE EVER UNDERSTAND HIM?! Only when she messes up does she finally ever get it - he's always been good. Always been weighing himself down just trying to protect everyone, get them all home safely, and she...she--]
Bak--!
[But he's gone, and Ochako feels like she'd just been stabbed. Hot, furious tears drip down her face, but she growls, throwing back the covers of her bed, racing out her door without a thought or care to even change. She doesn't even put on shoes, or a hoodie, anything. Doesn't grab anything, or say anything to anyone. They don't matter right now. Nothing matters more than getting to Bakugo. She hesitated last time...but not this time. Not this time. She runs as fast as she can, doesn't stop for anything or anyone. It all blurs past after a while. People, faces, buildings...is it her tears, or just how fast she's running? Nothing stands out other than the harsh sound of her labored breaths, the slap of her bare feet across the hot asphalt. She's not going to run away this time...not going to disappear.
Faster...farther--don't stop. Not until she gets to the Porter. In it, through it, and the race begins anew. A quick breather, just when she arrives beyond Heropa, scrubbing at her face - sweat, tears, her hair sticking to her dirty face. Just a moment, a second, just to get a read on the direction and throttle forward again. All the while, his angry, hurt, sad, broken image plays in Ochako's mind, making her run well and past her limit.
Before long, she finds herself at his doorstep, pounding furiously on the wood in tandem to the beat of her throbbing heart. Open the door, or she may very well kick it in. Ochako won't let Bakugo shoulder all those worries alone, like hell. She won't leave him - not now or ever - to suffer in silence all alone. Is this why he wasn't sleeping, too? Because he was so worried about them all? Protecting them all? Her knuckles hurt from how hard she's slamming them against the door, and if there's blood, Ochako doesn't care. That tiny pain is irrelevant to whatever hurt her friend is feeling right now.
Open the door, Bakugo.]
Edited 2020-08-16 00:06 (UTC)
[It's quiet once Katsuki hangs up, other than his own panicked breathing, but the silence does nothing to calm him down.
He fucked up.
Again.
He should have just kept his stupid mouth shut. Let Ochako believe what she wanted, let her fool Twice into thinking he was a good guy, a decent hero, and not the fucking mess that he was. Would it have made a difference? At least then, he wouldn't have had to deal with this crushing feeling on his chest, like he's dying, because he's weak, he doesn't know what he's fucking doing, his classmates don't fucking know what they're doing, he's going to fail and this time it won't just be All Might's retirement on his shoulders. Pinpricks dance in front of his eyes as he chokes out a sob and hiccups-
Bang.
The knocking snaps him out of it- somewhat, because who the hell would be knocking at this hour?
Bang.]
WOULD SOMEONE FUCKING GET THAT?!
[He yells, but no one answers, and the knocking doesn't stop. After scrubbing his eyes raw, he stands up, not giving a shit how he looks as he opens the door.]
Wha-
He fucked up.
Again.
He should have just kept his stupid mouth shut. Let Ochako believe what she wanted, let her fool Twice into thinking he was a good guy, a decent hero, and not the fucking mess that he was. Would it have made a difference? At least then, he wouldn't have had to deal with this crushing feeling on his chest, like he's dying, because he's weak, he doesn't know what he's fucking doing, his classmates don't fucking know what they're doing, he's going to fail and this time it won't just be All Might's retirement on his shoulders. Pinpricks dance in front of his eyes as he chokes out a sob and hiccups-
Bang.
The knocking snaps him out of it- somewhat, because who the hell would be knocking at this hour?
Bang.]
WOULD SOMEONE FUCKING GET THAT?!
[He yells, but no one answers, and the knocking doesn't stop. After scrubbing his eyes raw, he stands up, not giving a shit how he looks as he opens the door.]
Wha-
[The instant the door is opened, Ochako charges at her friend - takes maybe a fraction of a second to register his face, his voice - and she throws herself at Bakugo in a desperate hug, arms wound tight around him and holding almost painfully to his shirt. It's clear from just how ragged she looks - still in her pajamas, barefoot, wheezing, and flustered from a combination of fatigue and how hard she's crying now - that she ran straight here. Straight to him.
Ochako barely gets in a gulp of air before she's sobbing into Bakugo's shoulder, her voice hoarse and gravely from how hard she was gasping earlier, and how raw her throat is.]
BAKUGO, I'M SORRY!! I'M SORRY! I'M SO STUPID, AND YOU'RE RIGHT, ALL YOU SAID BEFORE WAS RIGHT... [Coughing, gasping, shaking because her calves are burning, her chest hurts, and her head feels like it's going to split open, Ochako sinks a little against her friend, but she doesn't let go of him, only pulls Bakugo closer.] I keep saying mean, hurtful things because I never think, I never take things seriously, and you--
[Her voice finally cracks, and she coughs hard this time, gasping for breath because her chest hurts, but goddamn it she's not finished. Rubbing her face against his shoulder, Ochako looks up to meet his eyes, and were she not clinging to him now, she'd have fallen to the ground because...because he was crying, too. All the words stop at that point, as her face twists into a pained, heartbroken, expression and she bows her head back to lay her forehead against his chest, gasping and crying quietly.]
...You're always t-trying so hard, B-Bakugo-kun. A-Always. And I can't even-- [She sinks further, feeling her knees buckle.] HOW CAN I CALL MYSELF YOUR FRIEND WHEN I'M LIKE THIS?! WHEN I KEEP HURTING YOU?! I SHOULD BE SUPPORTING YOU!! BUT I'M WEAK, YOU'RE RIGHT!!
I'm weak...
Ochako barely gets in a gulp of air before she's sobbing into Bakugo's shoulder, her voice hoarse and gravely from how hard she was gasping earlier, and how raw her throat is.]
BAKUGO, I'M SORRY!! I'M SORRY! I'M SO STUPID, AND YOU'RE RIGHT, ALL YOU SAID BEFORE WAS RIGHT... [Coughing, gasping, shaking because her calves are burning, her chest hurts, and her head feels like it's going to split open, Ochako sinks a little against her friend, but she doesn't let go of him, only pulls Bakugo closer.] I keep saying mean, hurtful things because I never think, I never take things seriously, and you--
[Her voice finally cracks, and she coughs hard this time, gasping for breath because her chest hurts, but goddamn it she's not finished. Rubbing her face against his shoulder, Ochako looks up to meet his eyes, and were she not clinging to him now, she'd have fallen to the ground because...because he was crying, too. All the words stop at that point, as her face twists into a pained, heartbroken, expression and she bows her head back to lay her forehead against his chest, gasping and crying quietly.]
...You're always t-trying so hard, B-Bakugo-kun. A-Always. And I can't even-- [She sinks further, feeling her knees buckle.] HOW CAN I CALL MYSELF YOUR FRIEND WHEN I'M LIKE THIS?! WHEN I KEEP HURTING YOU?! I SHOULD BE SUPPORTING YOU!! BUT I'M WEAK, YOU'RE RIGHT!!
I'm weak...
[Katsuki barely has time to absorb it all. One moment he's just realizing that it's Ochako who's running at him as he begins to lower his hands to stop himself from attacking her because it's Ochako, not an enemy, the next she's all but collapsed against his shoulder and he glances down, notices her bare feet, her pajamas, her tears-]
Wh-
[Why? He wants to ask. Why is she sorry, why is she crying over him? She wasn't the one who screwed up. She was the kind of person people looked at and could see as a hero, even though people severely underestimated her- not him. The sinking feeling in his chest is back, but now it's clawing its way up his chest and limbs, and it fucking hurts, and he just wants it to go away. Goddamnit, who the hell decided giving a shit about people was supposed to feel like shit?
He blinks a few times, looking down at her heartbroken face, and it's as if someone ripped his heart from his chest.
He's an idiot. This is just as hard for her as it is for him.]
You're not weak.
[He finally mumbles, and before she can sink down more, he loops his arms beneath her to pick her up, not even thinking about it as he walks over to the couch with her in his arms. Did she really run all the way here?]
You have something I'm missing. And it- [It pisses him off. But that's not her fault. It's not Deku's fault either.] It's not weak to give a shit and spare lives.
Wh-
[Why? He wants to ask. Why is she sorry, why is she crying over him? She wasn't the one who screwed up. She was the kind of person people looked at and could see as a hero, even though people severely underestimated her- not him. The sinking feeling in his chest is back, but now it's clawing its way up his chest and limbs, and it fucking hurts, and he just wants it to go away. Goddamnit, who the hell decided giving a shit about people was supposed to feel like shit?
He blinks a few times, looking down at her heartbroken face, and it's as if someone ripped his heart from his chest.
He's an idiot. This is just as hard for her as it is for him.]
You're not weak.
[He finally mumbles, and before she can sink down more, he loops his arms beneath her to pick her up, not even thinking about it as he walks over to the couch with her in his arms. Did she really run all the way here?]
You have something I'm missing. And it- [It pisses him off. But that's not her fault. It's not Deku's fault either.] It's not weak to give a shit and spare lives.
Edited 2020-08-16 05:33 (UTC)
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