Hello, everyone!! I'm not here right now - probably in class or with my friends! Or on a mission. Um...leave me a message here and I'll get back to you soon, okay? Bye!!
[Ugh, she definitely does hate to leave his food there on the table, and Ochako might...also offhandedly ask a server to box it up to take to Bennett's room for later (no need for him to go without just because of her stupid problems). It won't be the same, but it'll still be decent enough reheated. Or so she hopes, anyway.
Her lips turn up into a tiny smile at the little nod to his (very questionable, and constant) stream of bad luck, and Ochako giggles a bit - he's always so good natured about it...the sort of bad hand he's always dealt. She's a bit jealous, actually. Kind of wishes she still had that Go-Getter attitude she used to have when her life was a bit easier. It's just been hard to pull herself out of the rut she's in now...when her support network has been slowly trickling through her fingers.]
Thanks, Bennet-kun... [And once they're far enough away - tucked into a low traffic corner of a hallway or something - Ochako looks a bit awkward and shuffles nervously in place. Woof, she's never really had to explain herself before like this.] Um...ah. I-I don't really know how to start...
[Just a random hallway? Seems like a weird place to have what might be a heavy conversation. But he's not going to judge. Live your life, Ochako.]
Mmm... [Bennett furrows his eyebrows as he thinks about this. He wasn't even sure how to begin broaching this topic. But he didn't want Ochako to be sad, so... He was just going to have to do his best.]
Just say whatever you feel comfortable with. [A pause. No, no, Bennett, that won't work! Be more direct!] ...Maybe start with whatever you think's got you feeling so down to begin with?
[Direct is actually a lot better. Ochako definitely needs the push, or a kick in the ass, to get her motivated for anything these days. She's really not used to opening up in this way - it goes against so much of what she was taught to do, and what she has been doing for so long. But...she knows exactly where things started to really go wrong, so.]
...Well, I used to live together with my friends - my classmates - in a pretty big house before moving back to the Inn. It was me and three other girls, and we were also all taking care of a really young girl from our world that showed up here, too. [Ochako looks down at the floor, pawing at a loose thread on the sleeve of her shirt.] O-One by one...um. I--...they left. My classmates. A-A lot their b-belongings were gone, their rooms were...empty, and--
[Her fingers begin to shake, and her head hangs low. Man, it feels so much worse when she speaks it into the world. Her voice becomes small, but steady. Almost automatic.] ...I was alone. Just me and that little girl. There was no way I could afford living in that house, and taking care of a kid on my own. I knew that, so I coordinated someone to take care of her in my stead, who was better equipped for it. I...know it was the right choice, but...it didn't feel good. Felt like I was giving up. And then just...so much more stuff began to happen, and I...
[Tears begin to well up in her eyes, soaking her dark lashes and rolling down once rosy, now slightly blotched cheeks. It sounds stupid. It sounds so stupid. She's a Hero, she's not supposed to have these kinds of hang-ups!! She's not supposed to give up on people because she can't do it. That's not what a Hero's supposed to do! It's not what's been taught to her since day one. In Ochako's head, she's failed.]
It felt like all the people I cared about were slipping through my fingers. Like they were all looking at each other, or moving forward, and I was stuck in place. I couldn't follow after them, and they either...disappeared, or the gap became too wide to call out. [A long, long pause, and Ochako sinks a little so that her back hits the wall and she leans hard against it.] ...I'm sorry.
Edited (i accidentally a whole ass word) 2021-09-06 20:45 (UTC)
[Bennett listens to Ochako's, feels the emotions thinly held back behind them like a dam waiting to burst.
Poor Ochako, he thinks, she's been through so much. What can I possibly say to something like this? What can I do? I--
But even though his mind was caught up in trying to think of how he could possibly do something, anything, to support her, his body's already taking action, moving unconsciously of his mind. He reaches forward and grabs Ochako from her position against the wall, pulling her in tightly for a hug. A strong, firm hug, as he rests his chin upon her shoulder, letting her feel his warmth. Letting her feel that he's there.
After a few seconds pass, he finally breaks the silence.]
...I'm sorry, Ochako. I know... That it hurts. Whenever everyone seems to be disappearing on you and leaving you all alone, even when it's not their fault... It hurts. You feel alone and afraid and trapped, right?
[His voice waves a little, and he takes a moment to swallow. Ochako's story's resonating with him more than he expected. He doesn't know what it's like to be responsible for a child, but he does understand what it's like to be left alone, very much so. He understands how that can consume a person and just how much it can hurt them. He understands that better than most...]
But... You have dreams, don't you? Dreams that you want to see through? That's why, no matter how much it hurts right now, you shouldn't give up on your dreams. Even if you have to change how you get there, you shouldn't give up.
[It's a bit sudden, and for a moment she's a little startled by the sudden contact, but it doesn't take long for Ochako to sink into the hug Bennett offers and really hold on. Her grip is shaky, but tight when she hugs back, and she buries her face into his shoulder and feels that aforementioned dam suddenly start to crack, the feelings welled up inside trickling out like her tears and tiny hiccups, before it becomes harder, faster - a rushing torrent of emotion that threatens to drown everything. She sobs against Bennett's shoulder, wetting his shirt and hating herself a little bit for breaking down and making a mess. He doesn't deserve to shoulder her burden, or worry about her like this. It's unfair. It's unfair what she's doing. She know, and yet she just...can't bring herself to let go.
As he speaks, she feels her throat close up, only able to utter tiny squeaks of sound, or harsh sniffles and the occasional "uh huh" in response. That's exactly it, and she nods her head yes. She knows it's no one's fault but her own - being that dumb, needy, clingy friend that always seems to get too attached too fast to the point where she breaks down when people leave her behind. The sting of Deku's rejection, while not his fault, still hurts. It still leaves her with questions of why, and if she had acted sooner, if things would be different. Then the girls leaving and her and Eri being the only ones left...and having to give Eri away. Is something wrong with her? Do people just not want to be around her? What did she do wrong? How can she fix it?
Dreams...yeah. Yeah, that's right. She still has that. Still has them - her mother and father who Ochako knows would still love and accept her no matter what. She can't give up on her dream of being a Hero to help them, to help everyone. Her eyes are watery, voice hoarse, but she still declares, loudly--]
I'm...g-gonna be a Hero that s-saves people!! No ma-matter what! [Even if...even if--] Even if I gotta do it all by myself! Even if no one else is watching me - I'm gonna do it!! I'm gonna help my mama and papa!! And I'm gonna make sure everyone keeps smiling, too!
[Bennett stands there while the dam that is Ochako's emotions breaks and spills forth, comforting her. Once she finally speaks her resolve, he responds in turn.]
That's an awesome dream, Ochako.
[He says that truly and sincerely. Dreams should be personal, something you want to accomplish because it matters to you, not because you want to impress somebody or make an impact on history. Just because it's something you want to do. That's what's always kept him going, no matter much things have been stacked against him in the past, after all...
Bennett lets go of Ochako now, but he doesn't leave her side. Instead, he gives her a smile and a thumbs up.]
You've got me smiling, so I think you're already on your way. Don't give up on your dream, because it's important to you!
[She sniffles, still a bit worn and weepy, but thinking about what she has to do now is...grounding. Ochako can't keep being this withered little flower anymore. This isn't like her at all, and if she faced her parents, or any one of her teachers back home...they'd be ashamed of her, she's sure of it. This isn't something that should get her down, she's been through so much worse, and is most certainly going to have to overcome obstacles even harder in her future. If she gets choked up just because it feels like she's all alone, or pushing people away, then how the hell can she achieve what's most important to her?
Besides, she still has people like Bennett here, too. And Deku, Bakugou, Tokoyami...they're still here, even if they're not together anymore like they were at Heights Alliance. Even if things are moving forward faster than she first thought. Ochako has to march on, even if she's the only one drumming.]
Th-Thanks...thank you. [Deep breath, deep breath. You got this.] Bennett-kun, yo-you're a really, really good friend, you know? I-I don't think I really knew h-how much I needed to hear something like that, and...a-and just remember why I'm doing what I'm doing. How dumb of me...to ignore the people that are still with me here.
[Bennett blushes hearing Ochako's gratitude towards. He wasn't being modest, at least in his mind. He didn't feel like he did anything special for her. He just said what came to mind.]
I just told you the things that keep me going when I feel like you do right now, that's all.
[She smiles, sniffling still and shaking her head. It may have been a simple thing to him, but it was a pretty big thing for her, in the moment. Just having that bit of support, the remind that she's not alone, and never will be...no matter what. That, despite ever feeling that way again, she can still press onward with her hopes and dreams, and keep the treasured memories and friendships she made in her heart. That is something no force in any world can take away from her.]
Mm, and it's really what I needed to hear, so...um. I appreciate it. And, you know? I'm really glad I met you, and everyone else here, too. Not just the people I know from home, or my own world, but all the other people too! I just...I-I really hope I can pay it forward sometime. Remind everyone else I know that I can support them, too.
I'm sure you can, Ochako. You'll find a way, I just know it!
[Bennett gives her his signature thumbs up. He wants nothing more than to be the sort of person that can support and back others up the way they've done for him, so he gets the sentiment. And Ochako's not eternally unlucky like him, so he's positive she'll pull it off if that's what she wants.]
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no subject
Her lips turn up into a tiny smile at the little nod to his (very questionable, and constant) stream of bad luck, and Ochako giggles a bit - he's always so good natured about it...the sort of bad hand he's always dealt. She's a bit jealous, actually. Kind of wishes she still had that Go-Getter attitude she used to have when her life was a bit easier. It's just been hard to pull herself out of the rut she's in now...when her support network has been slowly trickling through her fingers.]
Thanks, Bennet-kun... [And once they're far enough away - tucked into a low traffic corner of a hallway or something - Ochako looks a bit awkward and shuffles nervously in place. Woof, she's never really had to explain herself before like this.] Um...ah. I-I don't really know how to start...
no subject
Mmm... [Bennett furrows his eyebrows as he thinks about this. He wasn't even sure how to begin broaching this topic. But he didn't want Ochako to be sad, so... He was just going to have to do his best.]
Just say whatever you feel comfortable with. [A pause. No, no, Bennett, that won't work! Be more direct!] ...Maybe start with whatever you think's got you feeling so down to begin with?
no subject
...Well, I used to live together with my friends - my classmates - in a pretty big house before moving back to the Inn. It was me and three other girls, and we were also all taking care of a really young girl from our world that showed up here, too. [Ochako looks down at the floor, pawing at a loose thread on the sleeve of her shirt.] O-One by one...um. I--...they left. My classmates. A-A lot their b-belongings were gone, their rooms were...empty, and--
[Her fingers begin to shake, and her head hangs low. Man, it feels so much worse when she speaks it into the world. Her voice becomes small, but steady. Almost automatic.] ...I was alone. Just me and that little girl. There was no way I could afford living in that house, and taking care of a kid on my own. I knew that, so I coordinated someone to take care of her in my stead, who was better equipped for it. I...know it was the right choice, but...it didn't feel good. Felt like I was giving up. And then just...so much more stuff began to happen, and I...
[Tears begin to well up in her eyes, soaking her dark lashes and rolling down once rosy, now slightly blotched cheeks. It sounds stupid. It sounds so stupid. She's a Hero, she's not supposed to have these kinds of hang-ups!! She's not supposed to give up on people because she can't do it. That's not what a Hero's supposed to do! It's not what's been taught to her since day one. In Ochako's head, she's failed.]
It felt like all the people I cared about were slipping through my fingers. Like they were all looking at each other, or moving forward, and I was stuck in place. I couldn't follow after them, and they either...disappeared, or the gap became too wide to call out. [A long, long pause, and Ochako sinks a little so that her back hits the wall and she leans hard against it.] ...I'm sorry.
no subject
Poor Ochako, he thinks, she's been through so much. What can I possibly say to something like this? What can I do? I--
But even though his mind was caught up in trying to think of how he could possibly do something, anything, to support her, his body's already taking action, moving unconsciously of his mind. He reaches forward and grabs Ochako from her position against the wall, pulling her in tightly for a hug. A strong, firm hug, as he rests his chin upon her shoulder, letting her feel his warmth. Letting her feel that he's there.
After a few seconds pass, he finally breaks the silence.]
...I'm sorry, Ochako. I know... That it hurts. Whenever everyone seems to be disappearing on you and leaving you all alone, even when it's not their fault... It hurts. You feel alone and afraid and trapped, right?
[His voice waves a little, and he takes a moment to swallow. Ochako's story's resonating with him more than he expected. He doesn't know what it's like to be responsible for a child, but he does understand what it's like to be left alone, very much so. He understands how that can consume a person and just how much it can hurt them. He understands that better than most...]
But... You have dreams, don't you? Dreams that you want to see through? That's why, no matter how much it hurts right now, you shouldn't give up on your dreams. Even if you have to change how you get there, you shouldn't give up.
no subject
As he speaks, she feels her throat close up, only able to utter tiny squeaks of sound, or harsh sniffles and the occasional "uh huh" in response. That's exactly it, and she nods her head yes. She knows it's no one's fault but her own - being that dumb, needy, clingy friend that always seems to get too attached too fast to the point where she breaks down when people leave her behind. The sting of Deku's rejection, while not his fault, still hurts. It still leaves her with questions of why, and if she had acted sooner, if things would be different. Then the girls leaving and her and Eri being the only ones left...and having to give Eri away. Is something wrong with her? Do people just not want to be around her? What did she do wrong? How can she fix it?
Dreams...yeah. Yeah, that's right. She still has that. Still has them - her mother and father who Ochako knows would still love and accept her no matter what. She can't give up on her dream of being a Hero to help them, to help everyone. Her eyes are watery, voice hoarse, but she still declares, loudly--]
I'm...g-gonna be a Hero that s-saves people!! No ma-matter what! [Even if...even if--] Even if I gotta do it all by myself! Even if no one else is watching me - I'm gonna do it!! I'm gonna help my mama and papa!! And I'm gonna make sure everyone keeps smiling, too!
no subject
That's an awesome dream, Ochako.
[He says that truly and sincerely. Dreams should be personal, something you want to accomplish because it matters to you, not because you want to impress somebody or make an impact on history. Just because it's something you want to do. That's what's always kept him going, no matter much things have been stacked against him in the past, after all...
Bennett lets go of Ochako now, but he doesn't leave her side. Instead, he gives her a smile and a thumbs up.]
You've got me smiling, so I think you're already on your way. Don't give up on your dream, because it's important to you!
no subject
Besides, she still has people like Bennett here, too. And Deku, Bakugou, Tokoyami...they're still here, even if they're not together anymore like they were at Heights Alliance. Even if things are moving forward faster than she first thought. Ochako has to march on, even if she's the only one drumming.]
Th-Thanks...thank you. [Deep breath, deep breath. You got this.] Bennett-kun, yo-you're a really, really good friend, you know? I-I don't think I really knew h-how much I needed to hear something like that, and...a-and just remember why I'm doing what I'm doing. How dumb of me...to ignore the people that are still with me here.
no subject
[Bennett blushes hearing Ochako's gratitude towards. He wasn't being modest, at least in his mind. He didn't feel like he did anything special for her. He just said what came to mind.]
I just told you the things that keep me going when I feel like you do right now, that's all.
no subject
Mm, and it's really what I needed to hear, so...um. I appreciate it. And, you know? I'm really glad I met you, and everyone else here, too. Not just the people I know from home, or my own world, but all the other people too! I just...I-I really hope I can pay it forward sometime. Remind everyone else I know that I can support them, too.
no subject
[Bennett gives her his signature thumbs up. He wants nothing more than to be the sort of person that can support and back others up the way they've done for him, so he gets the sentiment. And Ochako's not eternally unlucky like him, so he's positive she'll pull it off if that's what she wants.]