floatsaway | IC Inbox

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Hello, everyone!! I'm not here right now - probably in class or with my friends! Or on a mission. Um...leave me a message here and I'll get back to you soon, okay? Bye!!

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From:

fullgauntlet

[Izuku's heart drops to his stomach. He feels it ache so much as she breaks down over the phone like this and for a second he really doesn't know what to do or say but listen to her sobbing and letting it all sink in.]

Uraraka-san...

[He didn't mean to trigger her with that single word- thinking of the situation like it had been a monster or a magic figment that needed to be taken care of... in the end. He knows how it had taken their faces and their shapes. But in the end, it wasn't like taking down a villain. It was a monster...?]

Sensei always says heroes don't kill.

[He swallow...]

W-when it took my face I thought for a while that... maybe I was a lot like it. That my doppelganger really was just like me. It wanted to do whatever it wanted to you and Kacchan and my friends and I was scared that... maybe I was like that too- [He nervously gulps.] I was scared.

[He wishes he could do something to erase that feeling. Her feelings on this too. Save her from being this shook up somehow...]

But I realized it was a nightmare that was trying to hurt us in any way that it could. Even if I still felt scared about that. Uraraka-san... I don't want it to change how you see me. Or Kacchan too.

From:

floatsaway

[She feels a little embarrassed to break down like this, because she never has, and feels like she's been crying and feeling pitiful and weak for so, so long these days...but that's the truth. This world is starting to wear her down. From the homesickness and loss of her quirk, her dreams, her family, to all the shit with the spiders and now...this. Now this. It feels like she's been isolated, unsure of how to open up about it to anyone, so it's grown into, well...a rather ugly mark. Like the one she sports from the aftermath of the spider attack, but this scar is all mental. Emotional. Deeper and much uglier than the scar on her abdomen.

The difference between what Izuku did and what Ochako did is that he was fighting himself. He knew he was the real one and...as morbid a thought as it may be, ending the life of something that has your own face is easier than ending the life of something that has taken the appearance of a friend. Not once, not even twice, but three times.Two of which Ochako killed herself. Two of which were people closest to her. And it made her question how close she really was to them.

Breathing in and out, Ochako sniffs and wipes at her face as she listens to Izuku speak. Reiterating what she said - Heroes don't kill. They're not supposed to kill. That's what they were always taught - murder is and forever will be a crime. It should never, ever be an option... And if it is, it should be for the sake of the masses. Heroes are not executioners, they do not judge when and where to take life. They are meant to serve and protect, to save. Everyone.]

That thing...treated me liked it owned me. Like it had a right to me - was entitled to it. [She takes a deep breath, rubbing her face again and swallowing.] It reminded me more of that derange Toga girl than it did you, Deku-kun, but...the thing is, I-I knew it was a fake. Deep down, from the moment I felt something want wrong about it, I knew.

But because it was you, I ignored it. Because it treated me kindly at first, I pu-- [Her eyes squeeze shut, as a painful tightness grips her chest. Haha. Hah...how ironic.] ...I put those feelings away. It wasn't until it slipped up that I finally started fighting. And...th-the fact I can be swayed by a fake of you...my closest friend... A-And I really, really don't want to see you or Bakugou-kun any different!! You're both really, really important to me, and...a-and I'd do anything for you guys, you know that!! B-But...but. After all that, I just. My chest just...it's.

[She gasps out, a breathy whisper, followed by another sob.]

It's heavy.

From:

fullgauntlet

[He listens carefully feeling his heart absolutely ache for her. How it must have felt for her is different from how it felt for him. He can't erase those feelings she's having and he knows that. He can't just save her from them and it makes him feel strange.]

I know... Uraraka-san.

[It was awful dark magic that was meant to hurt them. To get under their weakest link and take advantage of it. That's why Izuku had been scared that maybe he was more like the clone than he wanted to admit. He only felt that way because it got to him too. And he is sure it was the same for Katsuki too. Feeling that heavy dread in his stomach, knowing that this is all one big What If...?]

But you know... I'd never treat you like that. I'd never try to own you. Ever. And I know now that the doppelganger wasn't anything like me. No matter how hard it tried to copy what I might do or say... It was worse than a villain. Worse than Toga. It was that kind of dark magic that's just...a nightmare.

[He swallows.]

I think it's okay to be scared of that, be worried about it...

From:

floatsaway

[It was a being of dark magic, of evil, worse than perhaps a villain, because it preyed on Ochako's weakness. It took advantage of the love in her heart, for her friends and family, for people around her, and twisted it to try and hurt her. Time and time again, that abundance of love she has for people just gets...turned on its head. It gets used against her, and she's sick of it. Ochako is sick of it because it feels like her love is only on the surface. That it's fake. What...does she really know about the people she 'loves'? Other than the basics? Can she really call that caring about them, if she only knows someone based on what she sees? Their traits as Heroes...

Admiration. Respect.

If she took away the faces of people, wouldn't they just be the same as strangers then?

It's that which has really gotten Ochako flustered and upset. Thanking about herself and how she sees people. Sees Izuku and even Bakugou. Two people she considers her close friends, and yet she either couldn't tell them apart, or refused to. It just makes her feel disgusting.]

I know you wouldn't. And I know it wasn't. But...Deku-kun, what do we really even know about each other? You're my best friend, o-or at least I-I...think so. [She takes a deep breath in, and leans her cheek on her crossed arms, a few tears rolling down her cheeks.] But I barely know anything about you other than what I learned from school, or from watching you at school.

That's what's scariest to me. That...th-that I don't r-really...know any of you at all. You, or Bakugou-kun, or...o-or really the rest, even.

From:

fullgauntlet

I...

[She thinks it's that way? Izuku is quiet for a moment as he swallows that.]

... But, we've been through a lot together, Uraraka-san.

[He shuffles on his side.]

I guess I- I've never had a lot of friends before coming to U.A. You were the first person to really talk to me there, too. If I were to look at it, I'd said we're best friends.

[Even if there are a few things that Izuku does keep from her because he's thinking of her own safety. Ah, with great power come great responsibility.]

You've always been there for me and have supported me through a lot of rough spots. I think... feeling the way you are now about that doppelganger has to prove some of that? How much you've cared...

[And maybe Izuku needs to try a little harder himself...]

Edited Date: 2021-07-15 02:29 am (UTC)

From:

floatsaway

[Is she wrong? Ochako goes quiet, wondering if what she said wasn't the right thing to say. Yeah, they have been through a lot, and she knows Izuku's personality and his heroics, his kind heart and personable attitude. His cute and goofy, heh...quirkiness and nerdy tendencies. She knows all of that, has seen it and become charmed to it all - everything about him is just so sweet and endearing in its own way - but it still weirdly feels like it's not...enough. Would she have not been fooled if she knew more about him? It feels worse with Bakugou, too, because there she just took a guess and prayed. Like diffusing a bomb - picking a wire and hoping it was the right one.

It's painful because it makes her feel like a bad friend. That she should have been able to tell the real from the fake, especially since she's been so carefully watching all her friends grow, because she's just to enraptured by their determination, their strengths, and desire to reach their goals. Bakugou and Deku especially, just...have that aura that pushes everyone else forward alongside them, too. Like a beacon that shines on everyone in the class, it's hard to take her eyes off them. So, knowing all that...still having to guess--]

Mmh...thank you, Deku-kun. I... [Don't really feel that way, right now.] I still think i need to do better, though. Those dumb things really...really made me feel like I'm not a good friend at all. I don't like feeling that way, or putting you all on the line based on a...a guess. Or...something else. [The frailty of her foolish heart.] I'm sorry. I-I'll do better. I promise.

[I have to.]

From:

fullgauntlet

[It's true that Izuku tends to keep a lot about himself to himself. He easily jumps to telling people he's fine or that he's doing his best because it stops people from really worrying about him. He wants to be strong enough that people don't have to worry about him. And maybe in a way that keeps Izuku's real thoughts and feelings away from his friends...

Just be like All Might, right? Smile! And be there for others. No matter what.

But maybe in doing all that he's somehow pushed her away. He thinks he needs to do better too. Doesn't he?]

N-no, Uraraka-san... I don't think you need to say sorry. I- Maybe I could do better too. You shouldn't have had to feel like you didn't know me when that doppelganger got to you... So, maybe I need to be more honest. So you don't have to feel that way again.

From:

floatsaway

[It's part of their culture, loathe as many are to admit it. Don't be a burden to others, and don't be the center of attention for something you can do yourself. Your problems are your own, and no one else's. The weight is yours and yours alone to bear. Ochako is also of this mindset, in a way - she keeps her feelings hidden away and pushed back because she doesn't want to burden others with them. It's...wrong. It's wrong to ignore so many outstretched hands reaching for you.

A smile can instill peace, yes, but when the one smiling is so filled with sorrow, anguish, and pain...is it really a smile at all?]

Mm, no, I do need to apologize. I...never thought to ask before. I was content with what was on the surface and I...don't think that's really right. So I'm sorry, Deku-kun. But I'd...really like that. G-Getting to know you better, I mean. [It just makes her happy. Ochako genuinely just wants to feel closer to her friends, and to feel like they're actually friends again. She's so mixed and knotted up inside that it's all starting to unravel. Those tight bonds she made feel like they're coming apart at the seams.] ...All of you guys. Y'know you're real important to me, right? S'why I don't like feeling like this, and. Um...wh-why I wanna do better.

[She takes a deep breath in, then exhales.]

Can we hangout sometime? Just you and me. No quests or anything like that, just... J-Just as friends. [To reconnect.]

From:

fullgauntlet

[Unfortunately, that's very true. It's something that a lot of them are raised to be like. Don't be bothersome, don't make a problem when you can figure it out. Don't worry others... It's a difficult truth.

But even with all of that Izuku is grateful for his friends and classmates too. Having a chance to be surrounded by so many amazing people? He really does feel blessed.]

Y-yeah... Me too. I think sometimes it's hard to remember that we're more than just students training to be heroes. We're... we're us too. Just us?

[He wants to do better too.]

I think that'd be great, Uraraka-san.

From:

floatsaway

[A difficult truth to accept and an even harder one to overcome. It's why having others to intervene and support you in your endeavors is so critical - for both of them. Through the lows and the highs, those that stay by your side are the ones that are true gifts...and the ones that should be treasured most of all.

It's why Ochako is so glad she and her dear friends are slowly...working past everything. It's hard, and she doesn't really know how to navigate everything with everyone, but she tries. She tries, and the reassurances that they all care and are ready to help, even when she doesn't ask, even when she says no--]

Y-Yeah... [Just us. Just people. Just...kids. Kids who don't really have anything figured out at all, and have only walked in the big, wide world for less than a year.] You know, sometimes I kind of just want to be Uraraka, you know? Just...just have a day off. From everything.

[And that's okay.]

Thanks, Deku.